5 Principles For Bailout To Protect Americans

John McCain has a plan for the bailout, where is Barack Obama’s? This is leadership. This is the real change you can believe in. Congress please think this out carefully, but quickly and prevent our country from going into a depression, your inaction will destroy our economy fully.

Let’s not bloat this with extras, lets get the bailout in the works and plan other legislation independently and carefully.

FREELAND, Mich. — Republican presidential nominee John McCain said today that “inaction is simply not an option” as Congress considers a bailout plan for Wall Street, but more accountability and transparency is needed than is currently in the plan being negotiated.

McCain laid out five principles he said should be included in the $700-billion proposal, but refused to say whether failure to to enact any of them would cause him to oppose the legislation.

“We must pass legislation to address this crisis,” McCain said after touring a Dow-Corning plant here. “If we do not, credit will dry up, with devastating consequences for our economy. People will no longer be able to buy homes and their life savings will be at stake. Businesses will not have enough money to pay their employees.” 

As he has said before, McCain said five principles must be included: greater accountability and independent oversight; a path for taxpayers to recoup the money; transparency in decisions on which companies to help; a cap on the executive pay of those companies that take part and no earmarks in the plan for any specific businesses.

McCain made the statement and then took questions from four members of the traveling press corps, the first time he has made himself thus available in more than a month.

Told that some Democrats were waiting to see how McCain would vote before committing themselves to such a costly bailout — McCain acknowledged it was $10,000 per American household — McCain said that should not be relevant. “Let me say that I hope Democrats would recognize that this issue should not in any way be related to my vote,” McCain said. “Their vote should be determined on how to resolve this crisis.”

McCain said that a second economic stimulus package should not be attached to the legislation.

A copy of his prepared remarks follows:

America today faces an historic national crisis. The global economy is directly threatened by the potential collapse of our financial system. Two years ago, I warned the American people about the lack of oversight, transparency, backroom dealings and financial recklessness at Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. Those warnings went unheeded, and more than anything directly contributed to the subprime mortgage crisis which has created the perfect economic storm. Further inaction is simply not an option. We must pass legislation to address this crisis. If we do not, credit will dry up, with devastating consequences for our economy. People will no longer be able to buy homes and their life savings will be at stake. Businesses will not have enough money to pay their employees. But let us be perfectly clear: a great burden is upon the American people. Seven hundred billion dollars is a staggering and unprecedented figure, and it is important that I speak plainly to the American people about the dimensions of this proposal. In essence, what this plan requires is a ten thousand dollar contribution per household. Seven hundred billion dollars, for example, could rebuild the crumbling infrastructure in every town, county, and state in this country. Because what is being asked of the American people is unprecedented, great care must be taken to ensure their protection. With the taxpayer in mind, I am seeking 5 basic improvements to this legislation: First, there must be greater accountability included in the bill. I have suggested a bipartisan board to provide oversight for the rescue. We will not solve a problem caused by poor oversight with a plan that has no oversight. Never before in the history of our nation has so much power and money been concentrated in the hands of one person, and there must be protections and oversight in place. Second, as a part of that oversight, there must be a path for taxpayers to recover the money that is put into this fund. One trillion dollars is an unprecedented sum. We are talking about ten thousand dollars per household, and that money cannot simply go into a black hole of bad debt with no means of recovering any of the funds. Third, there must be complete transparency in the review of this legislation and in the implementation of any legislation. This cannot be cobbled together behind closed doors. The American people have the right to know which businesses will be helped, what that selection will be based on and how much that help will cost. All the details should all be made available online and elsewhere for open public scrutiny. Fourth, no Wall Street executives should profit from taxpayer dollars. It is wrong to ask teachers and farmers and small business owners to fill the gas tanks of the helicopters of Wall Street tycoons. The senior leaders of any firm that is bailed out should not be making more than the highest paid government official. Fifth and finally, it is completely unacceptable for any kind of earmarks to be included in this bill. It would be outrageous for legislators and lobbyists to pack this rescue plan with taxpayer money for favored companies. This simply cannot happen. Let me restate that inaction is not an option. The American people are watching. History will be our judge, and it will judge us harshly if we do not put our country first in this crisis.

Bailout Hinges On McCain

Odd, Congress is looking to John McCain to determine what to do about the bailout. They are not looking to Obama. This is Democrats and Republicans working together for a common good hopefully.

What it really shows is that there is no faith in Obama’s economic abilities, but there is faith in McCains. It shows who is ready to lead our country. This is what makes a president.

Now Congress lets put in safeguards and oversights and get this thing rolling before it is too late. I am not suggesting rushing in, but put some expediency into play and work things out.

ABC News’ George Stephanopoulos reports: If Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain doesn’t vote for the Bush administration’s $700 billion economic bailout plan, some Republican and Democratic congressional leaders tell ABC News the plan won’t pass.

“If McCain doesn’t come out for this, it’s over,” a Top House Republican tells ABC News.

A Democratic leadership source says that White House Chief of Staff Josh Bolten has been told that
Democratic votes will not be there if McCain votes no — that there is no deal if McCain doesn’t go along.

McCain has expressed concerns about Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke’s plan, which would amount to costing the American taxpayer two Iraq wars.

The Republican presidential candidate has suggested the original proposal lacks sufficient oversight, and he has said whatever plan emerges should protect family savings, homes, and student loans, and should eliminate obscene CEO compensation packages.

McCain said this week that any company that receives government aid should not be compensated more than $400,000 — the highest-paid government employee.

McCain spokesman Tucker Bounds told ABC News’ Jake Tapper that McCain has not made a decision one way or another.

“John McCain has been very clear that he has certain reservations about the details of the agreement that has been released at last notice,” Bounds said. “There is no final agreement to review, but when there is John McCain will weigh in responsibly and appropriately.”

Administration officials went to Capitol Hill Tuesday to urge Congress to pass the bailout package quickly, arguing the nation’s economy is teetering on the brink of a major recession.

Some senior Democrats on Capitol Hill have voiced concern that McCain will continue to oppose the Bush administration’s plan as a way to position himself as a critic of Wall Street and the Bush Administration.

If McCain doesn’t vote for the legislation, other Republicans might follow suit, leaving the Democratic-led majority to fight in Congress to pass the risky bailout plan.

However a Democratic congressional leadership source tells ABC News’ Jake Tapper that Paulson went so far as to assure Democratic leaders that McCain “won’t be a problem” — in other words that McCain will vote for the proposal.

Unitited We Stand, Divided We Fall – Camp Obama Dividing

Funny, you look at Palin and McCain and they do have different views on issues, however they support each other and acknowledge that they have those different views, but they do not bash the other over those views.

Barack and Biden seem to be at odds with each other, both with jabs to the other. I was taught growing up to lead by example… I thought Obama was all about Unity…

And to think this is just what we have seen publically…

The best part is that Obama has criticized McCain for not wanting to bail out AIG, which his own running mate agreed with McCain… So what does Obama do, he slaps Joe around a bit in public…

Now this divide in the Obama camp is Change you can believe in…

Barack Obama and Joe Biden stepped out of sync again Tuesday, as the Democratic presidential nominee criticized his running mate for voicing opposition to the government bailout of American International Group early last week.

It was the second off-message moment for the Democratic team in two days. Biden had to ratchet back his own rhetoric Monday after an interview aired in which he called one of his own campaign ads “terrible.”

The lack of harmony suggests the Obama team, for months a rancor-free institution, is running into the kind of message discipline problems that John McCain’s campaign faced before he started to cut back his interaction with reporters.

The latest friction happened when Obama was asked on NBC’s “Today Show” about why he criticized McCain for initially opposing a federal bailout of AIG when Biden was also speaking out against it.

“I think … that in that situation, I think Joe should have waited, as well,” Obama said.

He was referring to Biden’s interview with NBC last Tuesday in which he said, “I don’t think (AIG) should be bailed out by the federal government.”

That echoed McCain’s comment the same day. But all the while Obama had stayed relatively mum on the crisis at AIG. He released a statement last Wednesday expressing his hopes for the rescue plans, but did not give a clear verdict on whether he supported the plan.

Having censured Biden for his remarks, Obama continued to criticize McCain Tuesday for initially opposing federal action on AIG.

“(McCain) said the government should stand aside and allow one of the nation’s largest insurers, AIG, to collapse,” Obama said. ” I think what has been clear during this entire past 10 days is John McCain has not had clarity and a grasp on the situation.”

The internal static, however, was not quite as pronounced as when Biden denounced his own campaign’s ad the day before.

In an interview with CBS News, the Delaware senator took issue with an attack ad from his own side that criticized McCain for his lack of savvy when it comes to computers and e-mail.

“I thought that was terrible by the way,” Biden said. “I didn’t know we did it and if I had anything to do with it, we would have never done it.”

The McCain campaign pounced on the statement, and Biden later issued a clarification.

“Having now reviewed the ad, it is even more clear to me that given the disgraceful tenor of Senator McCain’s ads and their persistent falsehoods, his campaign is in no position to criticize,” Biden later said, criticizing McCain for an ad accusing Obama of voting to teach kindergartners about sex. The Obama campaign has said the bill would help children avoid predators.

Biden also raised eyebrows two weeks ago when he said Hillary Clinton “might have been a better pick than me” to be Obama’s running mate.

While Obama has worked intently to patch up the rifts between his campaign and supporters loyal to Clinton, he hasn’t gone so far as to say Clinton would be a better running mate.

Biden, however, told the audience at a town hall meeting in New Hampshire that Clinton “is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America.”

He was responding to an audience member who criticized Clinton.

Anti-Iran Rally Turns Pro-Palin

The anti-Iran rally went on without Sarah Palin, unfortunately it was a disaster in numbers, with only about 2,000 people showing up. Maybe if they had let Sarah attend she could have brought in a crowd like she did in Florida, 60,000…

The rally ended up with overtones of of being Pro-Palin and anti Democrat, which upset the higher ups. Too bad. They are pissed because it became a political rally… First of all, what do they think the rally was in the first place. It was political against Iran. Second of all, it would not have turned into a partisan political issue had they let Sarah attend and had Hillary not blown her cool acting like a 5 year old by cancelling her appearance in the first place. Or maybe if Joe Biden or or Barack Obama had decided to attend, then maybe just maybe this would have been a nice UNITED front to show the terrorist from Iran.

I hope the Jewish voters pay attention to this and really think hard before throwing their vote behind Obama.

Jewish Groups Furious That Protest Against Ahmadinejad Was, At Times, A Pro-Palin, Bash-The-Dems Affair

Politics and diplomacy were not a good mix at Monday’s protest rally against Iran at the United Nations. 

Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin didn’t participate in the “Stop Iran Now” rally and there were a lot of hard feelings about it. 

It was a simple sign that read “We Want Sarah. Shame On The Rally Organizer.” 

Howard Webber from Brooklyn held it. 

“As important an event as this is, you needed a unity of Democrats and Republicans to show Ahmadinejad that we’re not going to accept a nuclear Iran.” 

Buddy Macy of Little Fells, N.J., felt much the same way. 

“I’m so disappointed, upset,” Macy said. “She would have brought 10,000-20,000 more supporters of Israel. People who were curious were stopped because of partisan action.” 

The brouhaha started after Clinton pulled out after she learned Palin was invited. Three organizations supporting the rally threatened to pull out unless Palin was disinvited. She was but organizers didn’t stop there. 

They were furious Monday about the political signs brought by some at the rally, like an anti-Obama sign that said, “Jews Against Obama & Ahmadinejad.” 

“I am upset by the sign because this is a non-political event,” said Janice Shorenstein, president of the Jewish Community Relations Council. “We are here today to cry out against Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, not political. American elections are not part of this event.” 

Congressman Anthony Wiener disagreed. 

“I think this is a classic political event in the best sense of the word. Politicians from all corners come here to speak out against Iran,” Wiener said. “I think it would have been fine for Sarah to speak. We just needed someone of equal stature from the Obama campaign to speak.” 

The question is what are the political repercussions not to have politicians speak at the rally?

“Republicans benefitted more than the Democrats did,” political consultant Hank Sheinkopf said. “Why? Sarah Palin wanted to be there, but it looks like she was purposely told not to and rejected. It gives her standing, particularly among those people who are thinking about voting Republican anyway.”

Both Clinton and Palin tried to make political hay anyway. Clinton released a statement. Palin released the speech she would have given. She will be in New York on Monday and Tuesday to meet with world leaders. Republicans hopes that helps boost her foreign policy credentials.

With the General Assembly now in session, avoid the East Side if you can. There will be the usual traffic troubles all week. 

Streets will be closed at different times, anywhere from the FDR to Madison Avenue, between 42nd and 57th streets.

Guilt By Participation

More information on the Bill Ayers connection to Obama. But the fourth column will surely let this one go by the wayside as with all the other negative background of their golden child. The only thing that might be truthful from Obama on this issue is that he currently does not exchange ideas with Ayers on a regular basis, however it is clear that he did for 6 years…

Despite having authored two autobiographies, Barack Obama has never written about his most important executive experience. From 1995 to 1999, he led an education foundation called the Chicago Annenberg Challenge (CAC), and remained on the board until 2001. The group poured more than $100 million into the hands of community organizers and radical education activists.

AP 

Bill Ayers.

The CAC was the brainchild of Bill Ayers, a founder of the Weather Underground in the 1960s. Among other feats, Mr. Ayers and his cohorts bombed the Pentagon, and he has never expressed regret for his actions. Barack Obama’s first run for the Illinois State Senate was launched at a 1995 gathering at Mr. Ayers’s home.

The Obama campaign has struggled to downplay that association. Last April, Sen. Obama dismissed Mr. Ayers as just “a guy who lives in my neighborhood,” and “not somebody who I exchange ideas with on a regular basis.” Yet documents in the CAC archives make clear that Mr. Ayers and Mr. Obama were partners in the CAC. Those archives are housed in the Richard J. Daley Library at the University of Illinois at Chicago and I’ve recently spent days looking through them.

The Chicago Annenberg Challenge was created ostensibly to improve Chicago’s public schools. The funding came from a national education initiative by Ambassador Walter Annenberg. In early 1995, Mr. Obama was appointed the first chairman of the board, which handled fiscal matters. Mr. Ayers co-chaired the foundation’s other key body, the “Collaborative,” which shaped education policy.

The CAC’s basic functioning has long been known, because its annual reports, evaluations and some board minutes were public. But the Daley archive contains additional board minutes, the Collaborative minutes, and documentation on the groups that CAC funded and rejected. The Daley archives show that Mr. Obama and Mr. Ayers worked as a team to advance the CAC agenda.

One unsettled question is how Mr. Obama, a former community organizer fresh out of law school, could vault to the top of a new foundation? In response to my questions, the Obama campaign issued a statement saying that Mr. Ayers had nothing to do with Obama’s “recruitment” to the board. The statement says Deborah Leff and Patricia Albjerg Graham (presidents of other foundations) recruited him. Yet the archives show that, along with Ms. Leff and Ms. Graham, Mr. Ayers was one of a working group of five who assembled the initial board in 1994. Mr. Ayers founded CAC and was its guiding spirit. No one would have been appointed the CAC chairman without his approval.

The CAC’s agenda flowed from Mr. Ayers’s educational philosophy, which called for infusing students and their parents with a radical political commitment, and which downplayed achievement tests in favor of activism. In the mid-1960s, Mr. Ayers taught at a radical alternative school, and served as a community organizer in Cleveland’s ghetto.

In works like “City Kids, City Teachers” and “Teaching the Personal and the Political,” Mr. Ayers wrote that teachers should be community organizers dedicated to provoking resistance to American racism and oppression. His preferred alternative? “I’m a radical, Leftist, small ‘c’ communist,” Mr. Ayers said in an interview in Ron Chepesiuk’s, “Sixties Radicals,” at about the same time Mr. Ayers was forming CAC.

CAC translated Mr. Ayers’s radicalism into practice. Instead of funding schools directly, it required schools to affiliate with “external partners,” which actually got the money. Proposals from groups focused on math/science achievement were turned down. Instead CAC disbursed money through various far-left community organizers, such as the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now (or Acorn).

Mr. Obama once conducted “leadership training” seminars with Acorn, and Acorn members also served as volunteers in Mr. Obama’s early campaigns. External partners like the South Shore African Village Collaborative and the Dual Language Exchange focused more on political consciousness, Afrocentricity and bilingualism than traditional education. CAC’s in-house evaluators comprehensively studied the effects of its grants on the test scores of Chicago public-school students. They found no evidence of educational improvement.

CAC also funded programs designed to promote “leadership” among parents. Ostensibly this was to enable parents to advocate on behalf of their children’s education. In practice, it meant funding Mr. Obama’s alma mater, the Developing Communities Project, to recruit parents to its overall political agenda. CAC records show that board member Arnold Weber was concerned that parents “organized” by community groups might be viewed by school principals “as a political threat.” Mr. Obama arranged meetings with the Collaborative to smooth out Mr. Weber’s objections.

The Daley documents show that Mr. Ayers sat as an ex-officio member of the board Mr. Obama chaired through CAC’s first year. He also served on the board’s governance committee with Mr. Obama, and worked with him to craft CAC bylaws. Mr. Ayers made presentations to board meetings chaired by Mr. Obama. Mr. Ayers spoke for the Collaborative before the board. Likewise, Mr. Obama periodically spoke for the board at meetings of the Collaborative.

The Obama campaign notes that Mr. Ayers attended only six board meetings, and stresses that the Collaborative lost its “operational role” at CAC after the first year. Yet the Collaborative was demoted to a strictly advisory role largely because of ethical concerns, since the projects of Collaborative members were receiving grants. CAC’s own evaluators noted that project accountability was hampered by the board’s reluctance to break away from grant decisions made in 1995. So even after Mr. Ayers’s formal sway declined, the board largely adhered to the grant program he had put in place.

Mr. Ayers’s defenders claim that he has redeemed himself with public-spirited education work. That claim is hard to swallow if you understand that he views his education work as an effort to stoke resistance to an oppressive American system. He likes to stress that he learned of his first teaching job while in jail for a draft-board sit-in. For Mr. Ayers, teaching and his 1960s radicalism are two sides of the same coin.

Mr. Ayers is the founder of the “small schools” movement (heavily funded by CAC), in which individual schools built around specific political themes push students to “confront issues of inequity, war, and violence.” He believes teacher education programs should serve as “sites of resistance” to an oppressive system. (His teacher-training programs were also CAC funded.) The point, says Mr. Ayers in his “Teaching Toward Freedom,” is to “teach against oppression,” against America’s history of evil and racism, thereby forcing social transformation.

The Obama campaign has cried foul when Bill Ayers comes up, claiming “guilt by association.” Yet the issue here isn’t guilt by association; it’s guilt by participation. As CAC chairman, Mr. Obama was lending moral and financial support to Mr. Ayers and his radical circle. That is a story even if Mr. Ayers had never planted a single bomb 40 years ago.

Mr. Kurtz is a senior fellow at the Ethics and Public Policy Center.

Welcome To Obama … Now Leaving Obama

Wow, Obama now has a town named after him, don’t blink or you will miss it…

Olema, CA has “Changed” it’s name to Obama. Now that is change you can believe in…

 Motorists entering the quaint, woodsy town of Olema near the sea in Marin County may notice a subtle change as they enter: it appears the burg’s name has been changed to ”Obama.”

Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama supporter and bed and breakfast owner Kelly Emery created a perfect mirror of the green sign people read as they enter the town’s limits. 

Now people unfamiliar with the area may think they are entering the town of Obama, population: 55. 

Emery’s sign has created little fuss in this politically liberal area, but the county said there are laws regulating such behavior. 

Marin County senior planner Curtis Havel said county code allows for political signs on one’s residence or place of business not more than 45 days prior to an election.

Obama A Terrorists Best Friend

Good for this kid. 

Obama A Terrorists Best Friend

An 11-year-old boy in Colorado was suspended from school after he refused to take off a shirt that read, “Obama is a terrorist’s best friend.” His father says that the school is violating his son’s First Amendment rights.

Daxx Dalton, a fifth grader at Aurora Frontier K-8 School in Aurora, Colo., wore the homemade shirt on a day when students were asked to show their patriotism by wearing red, white and blue, according to MyFOXColorado.com.

When he was given the choice of turning the shirt inside out or being suspended, Dalton chose suspension.

“They’re taking away my right of freedom of speech,” he said. “If I have the right to wear this shirt I’m going to use it. And if the only way to use it is get suspended, then I’m going to get suspended.”

Dann Dalton, the boy’s father — a “proud conservative” who has taken part in anti-abortion protests — told MyFOXColorado.com that the school is making a mistake by suspending his son.

“It’s the public school system,” he said. “Let’s be honest, it’s full of liberal loons.”

He later told FOX News, “I didn’t expect (my son) to get what he got, that was ridiculously uncalled for.”

His son also told FOX News he was “encouraged” to wear the shirt by his father.

“I felt like I should wear it, because I have a right to,” he added.

The school district would not discuss the case, but said the district “respects a student’s right to free speech, such as the right to wear specific clothing,” but they reserve the right to review any situation that interrupts the learning environment, MyFOXColorado.com reported.

Dalton’s suspension was for willful disobedience and defiance, not for wearing the shirt. His father said he intends to sue the district.

Click here for more from MyFOXColorado.com.

Dear Mr. Obama – Freedom Is Always Worth The Price

Mr. Obama Goes To The UN

This is a great piece of fiction, however the reality is this could be coming down the road…

The applause from the members of the United Nations General Assembly rolled around President Obama, echoing off the vast expanse of wood and marble, a tidal wave of approval and acclaim, although… truth be told, it was a little less than he had expected. His first address to the world body and not even a standing-O?
President Obama held up his hands to acknowledge the applause and the diplomats must have misinterpreted him, must have thought that he was asking for silence, because they immediately stopped clapping, leaning back in their chairs, awaiting his speech. He cleared his throat, trying to hold back his annoyance.

“Thank you, thank you, really, no, thank you very much.” He grinned at the cameras that were broadcasting his address to the world, flashed the smile that had never failed him. “My name is Barak Obama, and I approved this message.”

Silence in the great hall. A few nervous titters from the aides that David Axelrod, his campaign strategist, had sprinkled throughout the room, but their attempt to jumpstart another round of applause fell flat. Note to self: Diplomats are harder to roll than journalists. He glanced over at the U.S. ambassador, Barbra Streisand, who gave him a thumbs up.

“But seriously,” said President Obama, his grin faltering. He cleared his throat. Wet his lips. The crowd shifted in their seats. “Well… um… as you know… people will try to scare you, warn you about me, because… I’ve got a Harvard law degree and a funny name, and uh, as you can see, I… I don’t look like any other president on the money… “ He looked at the African diplomats in the front row. “The U.S. money, not your money, of course…”

The ambassador from the Congo looked quizzically at the ambassador from Zaire.

“So… so I guess what I’m saying is… don’t be afraid of me,” said President Obama.

The Russian ambassador laughed, head tilted back, roaring with laughter.

President Obama blinked, then realized what had happened. There must be a time-delay on the translation the Russian ambassador was hearing. He had just gotten the president’s introductory joke. The president beamed at the ambassador, who laughed even harder.

The Georgian ambassador, clearly overcome with the president’s message of hope, was weeping into his hands.

President Obama cleared his throat. Ambassador Streisand gave him another thumbs up. “Let’s be honest, folks, my country’s made some big mistakes these last few years. Really… really big mistakes. Words were said… not by me, but by the former administration, words that I think we all regret. Words like victory, axis of evil” — he threw his hands up in quote marks around evil —- “honor… sacrifice… but those days are over. I don’t even know what the former administration was thinking. Certainly not about world opinion. Well, my fellow citizens of planet Earth, I’m here to tell you, it’s morning in America… and you’re all invited for breakfast.”

The Iranian ambassador yawned, showed off his gold fillings for a good ten seconds. That bit of tape was going to be all over Fox News tonight.

“Breakfast… breakfast is about to be served, and no one… not anyone will ever go hungry again,” purred the president.

The Iranian ambassador belched loudly, and the diplomats around him laughed. Even Streisand smiled. Fine. She could be replaced by another Hollywood idiot any time he felt like it. Send Babs back to Malibu and her tenth farewell tour.

President Obama saw a light flash from the rear of the hall, sensed the halo forming around his head. More of Axelrod’s genius. The tiny laser created a nimbus around him, gave him a heavenly glow not visible to the conscious mind, but one that the unconscious responded to. They had tried it the first time when he was interviewed by Charlie Gibson during the campaign, and the ABC anchor had practically wet himself, his half-glasses bobbing on the end of his nose like a fisherman getting a big strike. They hadn’t dared try it when he went on The View. One of the ladies might have exploded. The halo laser didn’t seem to be having as much effect on the diplomats at the U.N. though, they just… sat there. Heathens.

The teleprompter flickered, and went dark. The president felt it like a punch to the gut.

That laser… that of Axelrod’s must have shorted something out. No lofty words in front of him, no soaring phrases and probably no halo either. In the control room above the crowd, he could see the tech crew playing paperwad basketball, oblivious to his plight.

The president blotted his forehead with the back of his hand. He tried to remember the speech he was supposed to give, but all he could recall was something about brotherhood and community and five billion dollar gifts to countries he couldn’t even pronounce. Right about now, President Obama would pay five billion dollars for a cigarette.

“But… but enough about breakfast and the atrocities of the Bush cabal,” said President Obama. “I’m here to introduce myself and to let you know that there’s a new sheriff in town and he doesn’t carry a gun, but… but he’s got housing vouchers, and… and green cards for everyone… and solutions too. I’m the sheriff that when you’re driving around, lost, I can give you directions. You got a flat, I’ll change it. Or, my deputy Joe Biden will, anyway.”

The diplomats were muttering now, looking around. Clearly, he was going to have to dumb things down to be understood.

“You know, thanks to our affluent American lifestyle we have a problem with blubber butts and global warming…” The president tugged at his collar. “It feels a little warm in here right now, doesn’t it? Proof positive to all you doubters out there.” He cleared his throat. “Right now, at this very minute, somewhere in the Arctic Ocean there’s a polar bear doing the backstroke because the ice has all melted, and this… this polar bear, who never hurt anyone, his arms are getting really tired and he… he’s going to drown unless… unless…”

President Obama stared at his reflection in the cameras, transfixed. Truth be told, he was one good-looking man. A healer. A uniter. Oil upon the troubled waters. He winked at himself. Better make room on Mount Rushmore…

Barry! What are you doing, man?

It was Axelrod on his earpiece.

You’re zoning out, Barry. Sound of finger snapping. This is showtime, buddy. Charm the rubes.

President Obama tore himself away from his reflection, leaned over the podium. He tried to make eye contact with the crowd, but there were too many of them, and they looked so… different. Weird clothes, weird faces… it was like campaigning in Kentucky or rural Ohio.

“As the great philosopher John Lennon sang,” said President Obama, winging it, using one of his never-fail college town stump speeches, “imagine there’s no countries, it’s uh.. it’s not hard to do.”

Most of the ambassadors looked confused. The Chinese ambassador removed his earpiece, rapped it on his desk and put it back in place.

President Obama’s tongue felt thick but he soldiered on. “Nothing… nothing to kill or die for. And no religion too.”

Great, Barry, said Axelrod, there goes any hope for the God, grits, and guns vote, next time.

“Imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can,” intoned President Obama. “No need for greed or hunger, a brotherhood of man… and women, men and women, and… and transgendered too.” He wiped his eyes, overcome for a moment with the beauty of the sentiments. “Imagine all the people, sharing all the world…”

The Russian ambassador was laughing again, some fat Cossack with beads of black Beluga caviar glistening on his thick moustache. The North Korean ambassador laughed along with him.

“You may say I’m a dreamer,” said President Obama, raising his voice, refusing to back down. He had faced rednecks and street toughs in his years as a community organizer, and had won them over with his unflinching optimism, his smooth oratory and the promise of government checks. The only difference was that the Russians and North Koreans had nukes. “You can go ahead and say, hey, President Obama is just a dreamer, but… but listen people, I’m not the only one. I’m really not—-”

Ambassador Streisand jumped up, wildly applauding. Axelrod’s shills did their best to jumpstart a standing-O, but the effort died.

“Thank you very much, Mr. President,” said Secretary General Jimmy Carter, entering from stage left. “Ladies and gentlemen of the Assembly, I give you President Barack Hussein Obama.”

“But, I’m… I’m not finished,” sputtered President Obama.

“Let’s give a warm welcome to the president of the United States!” said the Secretary General.

President Obama listened as the applause thundered around the room like a waterfall, drowning him his protests. He closed his eyes, bowed to the assembled multitude. Tears leaked down his cheeks. Finally, finally, they understood him.

— Robert Ferrigno is author, most recently, of Sins of the Assassin.